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My Day

jtrranchesjtrranches Member Posts: 2,631
edited May 2010 in Off Topic
OK so you all knew that there was a death in our industry. I took it very hard and still am for many reasons, which you will soon see.

So, the accident (I pray it was but it really wasn't, his daughter confirmed it) happened over 2 weeks ago. We all were beginning to think that no services were going to occur. The newspaper came out with the announcement this week and it was to be held today. And get this at the SAME church that held my MIL's services 11 years ago when she passed away from ovarian cancer. This brought back so many bad memories that I just could not face so I didn't go.

Well, accordinging to my hubby, his daughter was the first to talk during the service. She talked about how her parents were praying the morning that it happened and how he ran after her when leaving to go to school and how she stopped to see what he wanted. It turns out he wanted to tell her how much he loved her and ALWAYS will. She left to learn a few hours later what had happened. Many others spoke up but hers is the one all remember.

I know you may be wondering how this upsets me so much so here is the story. My MIL battled ovarian cancver for 4 years until she lost her battle in 1999. On my dads birthday none the less. We knew it was going to happen but it didn't lessen ANY feelings. The day of the service came about and I had my parents keep our children in the back of the church so I could give my husband all the attention that I knew he needed. So after what seemed like an hour, even though it was just about 20 minutes, my son (Age 5 and BFF was his Nana) came running to me screaming so the whole church could hear him "WHO IS IN THE BOX MOMMY, WHO IS IN THE BOX"? I got to him just before he got to "THE BOX". I walked in circles trying to calm him down but it didn't work. He just proceeded to say what I already stated. So I took him to "THE BOX" to see and he burst into tears. I had not really cried until that moment. (Can't cry for lots of reasons. My heart is cold to that but my mind isn't. It all has to do with the death of my brother 39 years ago. I am only 42 so it stretches most of my life.) After that the tears would not stop. It wans't a pretty site but the hubby took charge and calmed me and our son down. It was amazing to see him come through his grief and help me and our son. Makes me cry even to think about it.

So long story short, I was a mess because of our son. And because of that memory, I was not able to go today. Just could not do it. Wrong or right, it is what it is.

Thanks all for listening and respecting my wishes to NOT turn this into a pitty party for me or a debate over religion.

Terina Reynolds Always remember, "It's a good life if you don't weaken!" imageSeptember 11th, 2001 Anniversary Countdown Banner


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